Feeling Left Behind

Easily, the hardest part about my dad dying was leaving my mom to go back home. Knowing that she was alone absolutely killed me inside. It continues to be painful when I talk to my mom on the phone and want so much to be there to hug her. My dad was always there for her and now he's not. None of my siblings live very close so she doesn't have a hug every day. That hurts.

My relationship with my mom has changed so much since then. We have become so much closer and it has evolved from a mother-daughter relationship to close friends. When I talk to her on the phone I listen a whole lot more. We laugh and cry more. Because my dad isn't there for her to lean on, sometimes she just needs to be reassured that things aren't always as bad as it seems. We all need that sometimes.

I try to call her once every couple of days. I make sure to let her know that I still need her. Her focus was taking care of my dad and our family and now that everyone moved out and my dad is gone it is very easy for her to think that she is not needed anymore. That is completely not true and it is my job to make sure that she knows that!

It can't be easy to be left behind by a spouse. I would never wish it on anyone, from what I have seen in my family. I'll probably have to experience it someday because women tend to live longer than men. I try not to think about that too much because it makes me so sad. I focus on my husband and our life, and my mom and how much I love her.